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The Truth is Hiding in your Eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue...
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12th-Sep-2009 02:50 pm - I can't wait...

... until I have something more to think about.


Proof that I have very little to think abotu asides knitting patterns and OCD-related worries...

I matched my socks to my t-shirt.

And on two days this week my whole outfit matched- black and pink and then grey, black and blue...

10th-Sep-2009 08:27 pm - Voracious Drabble

The Twilight Twenty-Five
Prompt: Voracious         
Pen name: Yavia              
Pairing: Edward/Bella
Rating: K

VoraciousCollapse )
8th-Sep-2009 07:11 pm - ...such a long time...

... Well isn't that true.

It's been a long time since I've really posted, though I have been thinking about it for a few days. Recent days haven't excatly been brilliant if I'm honest. It's too warm here, I want it to be cooler, not thick jumper and blanket-snow on the ground kind of cold but not this horrible humid, muggy heat we seem to have here. It doesn't excatly help the way I'm feeling. Recently I've been constantly tired, all day so tired it hurts to keep my eyes open kind of tired. I'm falling asleep fine and easily enough, though I do find myself having very odd and disturbing dreams but when I wake up I haven't got the energy to get out of bed or even wake up probably, I spend ages after I've woken up dozing and not bothering to open my eyes. I hate it.

It's not like I have much to do during the days really but still this constant tiredness does not help me with motivating me to doing things to help my recovery or to do anything much really. I still spend my days watching TV and knitting and the like.

I got my first few months of course books from OU yesterday and apart from looking through the plate book with all the pictures in I've not really looked through. All of a sudden I have no motivation for it at all; I've been so excited about starting the history degree and now it's nearly here... I can't be arsed. I certain that the sudden lack of caring and energy has more to do with the OCD and depression then anything else and once something good happens that might kick myself out of the mood I'm in but I'm not sure when there will be a good thing in my life to be depressingly honest.

What is there to my life anymore? Apart from internet and knitting? I have people who say things but never act, I can't get a job because I'm still ill, I have to complete 80 hours in a computer lab doing things I learnt in year 7 and 8 before I can get the qualifications and that will take ages because I can't spend any more time out of the house then 3 or 4 hours.


I've finished the Falling Leaves wrap, it's not as long as I hoped but maybe it'll stretch more with blocking, I have a pair of socks completed for Dad and Monkeys (from knitty) sock for myself, though getting the motivation to start the second sock is fading. The wildflower shawl is now completed, I finished the lace edging today and put that all together, so prettiful. I'm still working on the stocking stitch portion of the snakes and ladders stole but it's taking a long time as it's mindless knitting. And we're one ball down on the log cabin blanket. I need to get some more balls for that and was thinking purple for the middle (which is complete) and then maybe a dark slatey grey and either black or a cream as a thin outside to the blanket. Currently it's still quite small, lap blanket sized.

(Pictures to come when i find my camera cord ^_^)

26th-Aug-2009 06:42 pm - Birfday
What do 'normal' people get for their 21st birthdays?

Because I have no idea what to say when people keep asking me about my birthday.

Ver, very little has been going on here since the last post. We lost internet for a week due to a thunder storm, and then less then a week after we got the internet back (we ended up having to get a new broadband box because when the power went out some of the wires decided to die on us) I lost the wireless in my laptop. It was infuriating. Out of the whole house I am the one who NEEDS the internet. I have what equals to no life, no friends in the real world and after the storm I was still in the midst of getting all my online knitting patterns off the intenet and saving them into word documents (I am still doing this. I have 93 to go and I find new patterns every day).

Surprisingly I have knitted a lot; though I only have one finished object. I started a finished a little pair of baby mittens last night in some left-over baby yarn from the hoodie and booties I made for my cousin when she found out she was pregnant. They are so cute.

The little baby mittens are sitting on the beginnings of a log-cabin blanket. It's mainly a just to see if I can do it. The other picture if you can't tell is going to be a sock. The wool smells awful, mainly because it's 75% wool and normally I work with nothing more then 25% wool, it's wonderfully selfstripping. They are going to be a pair of socks for my dad for christmas. K and C will also be getting socks but in a dark grey/black mix. These socks are knit on straight needles but I have got myself a few sets of double-pointed needles in order to teach myself how to use them.

Have also been making a few shawls and wrap. I have three of them on the go; a snakes and ladders stole in metallic brown, a leaf pattern wrap in metallic green and a wildflower shawl in metallic purple. All of these will be christmas presents for various people but as yet I am unsure who will get what.

Pretty yes? But my god they take a LOOOOOOONNNNNNG time, The wildflower shawl needs one half of the lacy edging completed and then it needs to be sewn up and blocked and the leaf wrap needs another 10 repeats at least and the the ends need weaving in and then that needs to be blocked as well. The snakes and ladders stole, I'm in the midst of doing a stocking stitch middle bit and then the other end of the stole needs three repeats of the snakes and ladders pattern.


Asides from that I've been doing very little. Mum rang up the OU today because I've heard nothing back from them for agggges and I sent off the forms like a month ago. We need to ring up later today and then we can pay for my first module and then I don't need to worry about that again. I hope that in feb I can start a second course (30 points instead of a full 60 point module) in either Classical Latin or Italian. Not sure yet, have to see how things go.

Should be starting the IT course in a few weeks as well, that should be pretty easy. Just need to get the 80 lab hours done as soon as possible. I think I could probably do 2/3 hours at a time at least once if not twice a week and as I get better and move further forward in my recovery then I'll be able to spend longer in the lab at a time and go more times a week. According to the OU I'll need to do an hour or two a day and thats it. 

It'll be nice to be busy again, I've missed working and studying and learning. I really enjoyed that part about Northampton; it was just the rest of the supposed University experience that I hated with a passion. I'm not the typical student and Northampton was full with the typical student. I don't drink at all, I'm not interesting in going out clubbing, I like to knit, I like to watch films and read books. I'm not a partier. I like to learn. I need to go to university back in the 1950's really... *sigh*
But yay for university. Jenny's just finished the OU module I'm hopeing to start and she's currently working through classical latin, she says that both are excellent so I'm excited. Yay.
24th-Aug-2009 03:11 pm - The Reason. Chapter 11- Rumours

Title: The Reason
Author: Whispershadow44 (LJ) or Yavia (FF.net)
Genre: Angst/Romance
Fandom: Twilight
Rating: M or NC-17
Warning: Vulgar Languange, Mature subjects, possible Sexual content at a later stage
Characters: Bella, Edward. Canon Couples
Category: A/H, A/U, some characters OOC
Status: in progress
Summary: Bella gets sent to Forks because of a death, there she is immediately befriended by one of the Cullens. Bella hasn't had the easiest life and struggles with the normality suddenly thrust upon her

Chapter 11- RumoursCollapse )
4th-Aug-2009 01:40 pm - (K1, yo, K2t, K1)* rep to end

It's been a while since I've posted. A few weeks ago we had a big storm, which sounded like it was directly overhead. I unplugged the computers and TVs etc but didn't think to unplug the broadband box out of the phone line. We had a big ol' powercut and it appears that the broadband box got fried. We didn't have internet for a week and for a week I was out-of-sorts. It wasn't a good week IBS and OCD wise anyway and  suddenly had a lot more time then necessary to think about things.

To take my mind of things I started knitting like stink. I completed a purple chunky, cabled waistcoat for the Autumn/Spring (all complete apart from buttons. The needles I have are either to big for the button holes or too small to get the wool through the eye. So that's sitting around waiting for the buttons to be put on.


Neither or those pictures show the colour properly. This was the first time I had done any cableing, I picked the project for this reason (and as it is made of chunky wool it would be a fairly quick knit). The pattern called for 500grams of wool but I've still got two full 100g balls left at the end, which is always nice so that will be swopped for some more chunky wool but in a different colour as I am probably going to do the Kimono Shrug next.

I started some of the christmas knitting as well. I've made the knitted part of an envelope bag for my cousin, that needs to be lined and then cord and a nice button added. I also plan to make her a pair of warm, comfy socks to go with that. I also started a lace wrap for Heather, for the last few years I've got her bath stuff but I thought as she's my step-mother now and not just my dads girlfriend I should probably put some more thought into her chrismas presents. I'm about a third into that. I'm using the same lace pattern as I did for the stone summer cardigan. It's a simple repeat and it looks nice. I'm making that out of a shiny brown yarn, and I hope I'll be able to finish that up soon. I'm currently looking for male sock patterns which are knit on two needles. A lot of socks are knit on circular needles or on double-pointed needles and as I've never knit on those before I'm looking for two needled patterns. I have a few sock patterns knit on two needles but I don't think Dad, Kevin or Chris would like knee high socks or socks with frills... I just want some plain socks or some socks with a simple pattern. No lace or frills or girly patterns. Is that so much to ask!


I'm contemplating what else or should that be WHO else to make things for. I'm always worried people open up a handmade (handmade not homemade) present and are disappointed by it. If it's handmade its normally smaller or seems less of a present then if you go into a shop and buy something. A lot of people don't realise just how much time and effort (and in some case just how much money) goes into making a knitted present. Some of the presents I'll manage to make out of left out yarn from other projects or from the stash I have already but on other projects I have to go out and buy the yarn, and the buttons or the stuffing, the material, the needles, the pattern to make it up. I like making these things and I put a lot of love and effort to make them perfect and as a crafter you do need to pick the people you gift these things to carefully. Not everyone seems to appricate it.

In other news I've done some more OCD-recovery related things. I've managed to cut my handwashing down again and now one handwash takes 3-4 minutes instead of 5-6 minutes. I'm avoiding going to the bathroom less and I'm managing to shower more and the like. I put a load of laundry in for the first time since September/early October and managed to dry it and fold it. So I'm still making progress and moving forward which is the most important thing. I'm trying to eat more different foods and to drink more. It's quite warm recently and I've realised I've only been drinking 3/4 glasses of drink a day so I'm trying to get that up to at least 6 glasses. It can't do anything but help can it really.

More books read this year:

42.       Innocent Traitor- Alison Weir

43.       The Other Tudors- Philippa Jones

44.       The Six Wives of Henry viii- Alison Weir

45.       The Other Boleyn Girl- Philippa Gregory

46.       Rumour Has It- Jill Mansell

47.       The Virgin’s Lover- Phillippa Gregory


30th-Jul-2009 08:43 pm - Writer's Block: Duos
Sam and Diane, Ross and Rachel, Chuck and Blair—who is your favorite TV couple?
I have to pick only one!?! Erm, well then Lucus and Peyton from One Tree Hill then with Luke and Loreli from Gilmore Girls coming in a close second.

I'm sorry, I just love my American teen sitcoms.
16th-Jul-2009 05:47 pm - The Learned Scholar

New books arrived today, annoyingly in the middle of my lunch prepation so I had to wash my hands AGAIN after the delivery man left before I could continue making lunch etc *sigh* but it's ok. I handled it and it's all good.

Interesting yes? The top one is a historical novel about Lady Jane Grey. As shown here I have a huge interest to two very different periods in history; Second World War and the Nazi's and the Tudors, specifically interested in Court life during the reign of Henry 8th and his disendents.

Also got the prospectuses from the OU this morning; I've been ringing modules I want to do. I can see myself doing what my step-mother Heather has done and just doing degree after degree after degree. I'm thinking about doing a beginners italien module and learn how to read latin or a module about learning to read classical greek and about its language and literature or I suppose I could continue on with the French I did in GCSE. *shrugs* but something new and kind of odd and different would be cool.
Title: The Reason
Author: Whispershadow44 (LJ) or Yavia (FF.net)
Genre: Angst/Romance
Fandom: Twilight
Rating: M or NC-17
Warning: Vulgar Languange, Mature subjects, possible Sexual content at a later stage
Characters: Bella, Edward. Canon Couples
Category: A/H, A/U, some characters OOC
Status: in progress
Summary: Bella gets sent to Forks because of a death, there she is immediately befriended by one of the Cullens. Bella hasn't had the easiest life and struggles with the normality suddenly thrust upon her

Chapter 9- Resting Up. Chapter 10- Good PieCollapse )
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